I have been meaning to write this for a while but wasn’t sure of the words – but may never be, so here we go. My last update was more than a year ago, telling you all that the New Story Run had been postponed until 2022.
Since then, I’ve been weathering (still am) a bit of a personal storm. I essentially had a bit of a slow-motion crash, starting with physical fatigue and developing into disintegrating mental health as well. I had to stop running completely, and cancel pretty much all commitments in my calendar. I was signed off work for 6 weeks, then took another couple of months to return to my Carbon Consultant job of 3 days per week. In the end I realised that this was still making me feel awful (are computers just the devil?), so I left and now work in a café 3 days per week. It is a wonderful place with a great team, which on some days feels more like group therapy than café work, despite being one of the busiest cafes in Cumbria and being bloody hard work! My physical energy has slowly been returning, and I managed to complete, and most importantly, enjoy(!), a fell race recently which felt like a huge achievement. However I still don’t have the oomph for any type of training or regular activities at my previous determined level (it’s possible I never will – not to be too dramatic). I also still don’t have the oomph to really engage with any climate and environment related news or topics. Being engaged with and trying to tackle the fact that our world is essentially falling apart can be a draining thing, and I think I well and truly ‘overdid it’.
I am drawing a line under the New Story Run. My heart, mind and legs aren’t really in it, and they really do have to be, to take that kind of thing on! I’m not sure what is coming next, but for now my number 1 priority is carrying on trying to figure out how to get my full physical and mental oomph back. It turns out you can’t really look after much else in the world unless you look after yourself enough at the same time.
Thanks so much again – I will always appreciate and remember the outpouring of support and encouragement that I was lucky to have from you all during this challenge. The main thing I learnt: Although humans collectively do a lot of stupid and terrible things, the majority of people are extremely kind, and just trying their best with the tools they have.